aknightlight asked: I reacted negatively to midodrine too! It jacked my blood pressure up incredibly high and gave me splitting headaches. Now I'm on a natural alternative, called Butcher's Broom.
Oh my, that’s not good! My doctor now has me on Betaxolol and so far it’s doing a lot of good. One thing that’s new is this weird headache at the back of my head and down my neck and it’s really starting to freak me out. Have you ever had those?
Behind-the-scenes for new lipstick, Babette! (Coming this summer.) Model: Natasha Lillipore, hair by His Vintage Touch.
softer--softest asked: i stopped taking midodrine a few months ago because i was having the same issues! i didn't realize it was an allergy.. hmm.
That’s interesting! How exactly did it affect you? Like did you feel like your throat closed or that you just couldn’t get enough air?
I need help. My doctor told me that he thinks a lot of my problems are caused by Mast Cell Activation Disorder but that I have too many problems he needs to solve before we can get to that; he says “one thing at a time.” I understand that completely but I need help on trying to get myself on a diet that helps me. It seems like every time I eat I have trouble breathing and I get bad cramps and the only positive is that I’ve lost 11 pounds :/ If anyone has MCAD could you please message me a list of foods you eat and avoid? I’ve been trying to stay away from high histamine foods but this is impossible.
Because in the weeks when I don’t really have to do anything, when I can spend the vast majority of my time at the computer or in front of the TV, just being lazy, I usually feel okay. Stuff hurts, but stuff always hurts, and it’s background noise at this point, I don’t even think about it. But then I start thinking about how I’m not thinking about it, and how oh my god it must not be real then, dear lord I’m such a phony I’m not even a cripple I bet I could get up and run a mile if I’d just get off my fat ass!
And then I have a day like today where going in and out of the store aggravates my knees to the point of pure agony, and the effort of wrangling a warehouse-sized bag of toilet paper into my subcompact car has left my shoulders protesting that I dare do so much as type, and suddenly I feel both comforted in my authenticity, and angry at the reminder that oh yeah, I really am a cripple.
The self-doubt that comes with this shit is almost as bad as the actual pain.
I’m having issues with the bolded part today. I was even (trying not to) freaking out while watching tv with one of my friends today, convinced that her and everyone else would think I’m a phony and maybe I really am maybe I’m not trying hard enough, but the last time I thought that, I went out with my walker and nearly got stuck in the middle of the road. TL;DR I agree with you.
My anxiety about this has pushed me to avoid the doctor. Like, I just don’t go. Which is bad, because I’m about to run out of beta blockers, and uh…that’s probably important.
When I go to doctors, they quiz me on why I’m in a wheelchair. Duh…because something is preventing me from walking. I explain the whole pain and dislocation thing. But they think the pain can’t really be that bad, I can’t really be dealing with such unstable joints, so can’t I just try walking? But the last time I really tried to just walk through it, I was stuck inside JC Penney only able to shuffle a few inches at a time, with all these people staring at me, and it hurt so bad…I don’t know why I listen to this doubting bullshit, but sometimes it creeps into my brain and I can’t drown it out.
skulls&glitz: This! I’m so glad I read this, it sums up how I feel so perfectly. It’s great to know I’m not alone.
If you’re an introvert, you also know that the bias against quiet can cause deep psychic pain. As a child you might have overheard your parents apologize for your shyness. Or at school you might have been prodded to come “out of your shell”— that noxious expression which fails to appreciate that some animals naturally carry shelter everywhere they go, and some humans are just the same.
Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking (via fernsandmoss)